On an airplane you are instructed to place the oxygen mask on yourself before you place it on your child in an emergency. This may feel wrong and seems to go against any parent or caregiver intuition. However, without putting oxygen on yourself first, you may not be able to continue taking care of your child. This analogy is often used for caregiving. As hard as it is for caregivers to take time for themselves, this step is essential in order to continue providing the best care for those around them. Self-care also helps to reduce fatigue and the risk of caregiver health complications, improving mental wellbeing. Be open with your healthcare providers, family, friends, neighbours, community groups/organizations, or churches, as they may be able to offer practical or emotional support. Seek out ways to connect with other caregivers in your area.
A Caregiver's Perspective
As a caregiver I feel overwhelmed and find it’s hard to ask for help. Sometimes the person I am caring for will not allow me to seek help, or share my concerns with others. I am often unsure of where to get information and anxious about what the future holds. People say that I should “take care of myself,” but most of the time I do not have the time or energy to take care of my own needs while also caring for others.
Tips for Caregivers by Caregivers
• Asking for help is not admitting defeat – use the resources available to you (e.g., social workers, counsellors, psychiatrists) – to find the help that you need.
• If you have the same family doctor as your care recipient, consider booking upcoming appointments for your care recipient and yourself back to back so that you can tackle your needs as well as the needs of the person you are caring for.
• Bring someone with you to appointments that will help you take notes so you can focus on the information and questions you have.
• Ask for meetings with multiple members of the healthcare team together to improve communication and save time.
• Ask those around you – family members or close friends – what tasks they would be willing help with (e.g. mow the lawn, shovel driveway, fold laundry, etc.). Keep a list of these tasks as you think of them.
• Stop and breathe. Take time for yourself – read a book, meditate and/or take a bath.
• Find someone to talk to who can relate to your story and experience. Online and in-person support groups are great – find your balance and what helps you most.
• When you have a newborn baby you are willing to ask for help and it doesn’t mean you love your baby any less – the same principle applies when you are a caregiver.
• Remember that it’s not the person that you are caring for that is a burden – it is the condition/disease that is the burden.
• Keep resources with important information, and share the existence of this resource with someone else who can step in, in an emergency (e.g. my healthcare journey binder).
• Sometimes new supports can provide a needed change for the care recipient too - opportunity for new techniques, activities, conversation, and environment.
• Remember to take time to enjoy other family members and friends.
Click on the links below to find out what caregiver supports are available for your specific needs.
Care for the Caregiver